I will beat you -open-

[Theodore Maro Nott]

Theodore Nott just so happened to come upon the fifth floor. He just so happened to see the trophy room. He just so happened to come upon the trophies his father had left behind. Alright, so he didn’t just so happen to come upon the room so much as he had to come here time after time again so that he could remind himself of something he was striving for. His father was forever haunting him. At the Nott Grange, he was always there. A smirk on his face, showing how superior he was to Theo. At Hogwarts, he was there. He might not have been there in person, but he was there.

His goal was to get twice as many trophies in this room as his father did. His father merely had three trophies, so getting more than that shouldn’t have been too hard. Shouldn’t have been. But, it was harder than he had anticipated. He never had the nerve to speak out in class, and his grades, while fantastic, weren’t enough to get him so many trophies. He only had one. He had known his goal was to get six in the case his fourth year, even if he didn’t have the guts to come in the room back then. But, now, he was just desperate to get six trophies. No, he was just desperate to beat his father. If one could even call the bane of their life their father, he wasn’t sure. For a nuisance Theodore Maro was. Theo hated being called by the same name. He was often telling his friends not to call him that as he hated it so much.

Theo ran his hand over the trophy; the regular glare on his face. If he could get away with killing his father without getting in trouble for it, he was sure he would. There were a lot of other teenagers out there with parents that were horrible to them, but none of them had parents forcing them to be a Death Eater. “I refuse to be you.” He muttered angrily to himself.

[rilen axper castor]

xoxxox

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It had been a while since Rilen found himself on the fifth floor, except for classes, perhaps. He used to come down here all the time, to admire the greats of the past. First and second year, he was practically obsessed, practically begging to do anything well enough to get his name on these shelves. But after a while... His passion faded. All of the effort his father put into him seemed wasted. He remembered how awful he felt every time he came here; sometimes, he'd look at the trophies for that very purpose. He wanted to remind himself how much of a failure he was already, just like Daddy used to.

It was too ground into his head. Eventually Rlen broke away from that habit, but now he he was here yet again. Back to face his old haunts. He entered the room with a rising sense of dread, as if his father would just burst in here any second to remind Rilen of what a failure he was.

As if having Sestina around wasn't enough. He'd see her occasionally at meals, where she sat with her obnoxious Slytherin friends. What a stupid kid. What a shallow girl. Rilen never did like Daddy's Little Princess, but by this point he all but loathed her. She was everything he couldn't be: loved, admired, content. She didn't constantly feel the desire to get better, to get smarter, to get stronger. Rilen was willing to bet 10 Galleons that she would be just happy sitting around for days at a time, not doing anything. Rilen? No. He'd never be like that. Instead, he was always in misery, unable to ever be good enough. Sestina was a constant reminder of this. She would always be there to taunt and tease him.

What did that make him now, a masochist? Why the hell did he come back up here anyways? He frowned, annoyed, when he heard a whispering voice. "I refuse to be you," it hissed, barely audible but still there. Rilen looked up from a golden trophy he hadn't realized he'd been staring at, and looked around.

Shit. He wasn't alone. There was a Slytherin boy there - he could tell by the uniform - who seemed in a similar predicament. He was just down a row, and probably unaware of Rilen's presence. Rilen didn't exactly want to disturb him, but... What else could he do? At least it wasn't late at night, and he didn't have to send the boy away. Rilen wasn't sure what he thought about Slytherins, since those he'd met weren't too awful to him, but he'd heard stories of really nasty ones. This boy, however, didn't seem too mean... At the moment.

Rilen straightened up as best as he could, then walked over to the Slytherin. He didn't look too much younger than Rilen himself, but he honestly couldn't tell one underclassman from another these days. "Excuse me," he said quietly, politely, "but you weren't talking to me, were you?" He glanced at the trophy in front of the boy. The placard said Nott. He wondered if it was his father... But of course Rilen wasn't about to ask. This boy (Nott, if the trophy was any indication) was clearly quite upset... As it was, Rilen was ready to back away if the Slytherin took offense.

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^{TAG - Theo
WORDS - 558
NOTES - i love rping =]
TUNES - two birds stoned at once , chiodos.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[Theodore Maro Nott]

Theo glared at the name. His father had ruined his life and was the reason he rarely left his dorm, or even the common room. He couldn’t handle being out in public for too long of a time. He could only imagine what they were doing to Christina. The glare on his face softened considerably as he thought about the small little bundle of joy he had left at the Grange. Oh, he had hated her when she was first born. The first six months of her life, his mother had managed to put a smile on her face. She managed to get out of her room and move around the house. She even put the bottle of scotch up. She held Christina and was even around to take Theo to Diagon Alley. But, it wasn’t long after that that his father decided to ruin it. He decided it was high time to introduce Christina to his friends. With that party, he had also managed to destroy everything Christina had brought for his mother, as well as destroy what little respect Theo had for him.

Christina was six now. She was a bit spoiled, thanks to everything Theo sent home for her. He had no doubt in his mind that summer was her favorite time of the year. It was the only time she had any physical contact with a human being besides his father. The father that merely glared at her, and, occasionally, threw her out of the room with a wave of his wand. It was never hard enough to leave any bruises, thankfully, but it was enough to make the young girl cry and cry and beg Ellie to help her write a letter to Theo. Theo’s mouth curved into a frown. He hated leaving Christina to Ellie’s care. Ellie was an aging house elf who would do just about anything to please Theo. He had to admit she did a good job teaching Christina about all the things he had instructed her to teach. All his old school books that he still kept in his room on an antique book shelf had because teaching books for Christina. He was not going to leave her with nothing to do. Sure, she had toys he had bought for her, but he knew that was not enough to keep the young girl interested. She was just like him in that sense.

She only had to deal with their less-than-pathetic excuses for parents for another year before he could move out of the Grange and into a new apartment. Of course, he was going to take her with him. There, she would live happily for another four years before going off to Hogwarts. Hopefully, because of Theo, she hadn’t turned too cynical. He wanted her to be everything he wasn’t. He wanted her to be a part of a house that wasn’t as biased as Slytherin, he wanted her to be a prefect, he wanted her to be on a Quidditch team, and, most importantly, he wanted her to have friends. And, not just a couple of friends that would put up with her and her strange ways, but friends who would understand who she was and accept her for it anyway.

Theo was just about to dive into another thought when he felt someone walk over to him. He mentally cursed himself for not having shut the door behind him and set it with several curses in case anyone tried to walk in. he could only imagine what the other boy thought about him now. Casually, he set a blank mask on his face before turning around. Before him, there was an older Ravenclaw student. At least, he guessed the older boy was older than him. He had no indication, and wasn’t really caring for that. Instead, he focused on what the older boy was saying, and even pressed his lips together before answering. “No, I’m afraid I wasn’t. I don’t know you, so why would I refuse to be you?” He all but spat the question. Reminding himself of his manners, Theo bent his head down, counted until three, and picked his head back up. “The names Theodore Maro Nott.”

---

Words: 702
Tag: Rilen
Notes: Uhm. I didn't mean for it to come out this long, but...there you go! Hope it was goo enough. (:

[rilen axper castor]

xoxxox

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Oh, god. He was a mean one, wasn't he? The boy had an unmistakable look of rage upon his face just before he looked up... But then it was hidden behind a mask. Rilen was stunned by his sudden change in expression, but then remembered that he did the same quite frequently. Perhaps he didn't want his inner thoughts showing to a stranger. Rilen could respect that... But still. He was definitely having second thoughts at this point about coming up to the boy.

"No, I'm afraid I wasn't," he said sharply. Rilen frowned but he didn't need to say anything. He patiently waited, listening as the boy continued. "I don't know you, so why would I refuse to be you?" Rilen truly wasn't bothered by the outburst. After all, he'd clearly interrupted something that was probably quite upsetting for this guy. He couldn't exactly get offended by what he said. But still, the trophy... Rilen couldn't get it off of his mind.

The boy was only slightly shorter than Rilen, but when he bowed his head he looked almost like a frightened first year. Rilen watched him with interest. Maybe it was the odd, random idea that they were similar? After all, it didn't seem as if this boy thought too highly of himself, and it wasn't as if Rilen was entirely confident either, as much as he tried to make himself appear. "The name's Theodore Nott."

The same name as the one on the trophy. But, oddly enough, not the same year. It rang a bell in Rilen's mind. He'd been through here often enough to know many of the names... But this particular trophy? It wasn't from even the last ten years. It made the older boy feel a bit uncomfortable. But Nott didn't seem to want him to leave, so Rilen would stay... At least for a bit.

"I'm Rilen Castor," he said, introducing himself as Nott had. He glanced around the room. "And I wasn't trying to accuse you. I apologize if I offended you, I was just making sure. After all, there doesn't appear to be anyone else here." Rilen was shocked at the amount of accent his words had. You'd think that, after living at Hogwarts for the majority of seven years, he'd have lost his American accent by now. But now, it still came back in bits and flashes.

"Though, and if you don't mind me saying so, I feel like I know how you feel. About..." He hesitated, then gestured to the trophy with his head. "That. I've always wanted to see my name in here..." he finished gently, trailing off. He gazed at the nearby trophies and plaques, and felt another little rush of disappointment. This visit was going to be like all the others, wasn't it? He'd always feel like shit coming here. The only difference? He had someone to talk to, and he wasn't complaining about that. "But I never do..."

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^{TAG - theo!!!
WORDS - 493
NOTES - your post is perfectly good =]
TUNES - two birds stoned at once , chiodos.
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[Theodore Maro Nott]

Theo barely dared to blink. He had spent years carefully setting up his perfectly neutral face. He spent years making it near unbreakable to the untrained eye. After all, how long had his father made him sit down at the dining table while he threw insult after insult at him? How long had his father punished him every time he dared show a thread of emotion? Far too long. Thankfully, those lessons wouldn’t start for Christina until she was nine. And, by that time, she was sure to be living with him and not with that monster. Still, Theo’s mind was leaving the present situation, and he figured that wasn’t a good thing.

Theo did have the habit to wonder off into his own little world. He was so used to not being paid attention to that he always lost himself in his thoughts. Usually, the present company would throw him back into gear by talking, just like the boy, Rilen, did. He watched him as he glanced around the room and couldn’t help but do a second check with his eyes. If he moved his head, he was afraid his mask would break and the furious glare that was on his face earlier would appear once more. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew what the other houses though of the Slytherin house, and he wasn’t about to prove those most-truths correct. They were mostly true in the sense that majority of his house was selfish, dark, and on their way to becoming followers of the Dark Lord, but he was different. He was always different. Different from his dorm mates, different from his house mates, different from his father. He only wondered how long he could stay against the wall before he finally broke through it and let everyone know just how different he was.

So, maybe it wasn’t a bad thing that this…Rilen Castor had made himself known instead of just quietly walking out of the room like Theo would have done if he were the one to enter an already occupied room. “If you’re suggesting I was talking to myself…” He trailed off, his eyes narrowing slightly. It was more out of embarrassment than out of anger. He had been taught to specifically not do things like this. He had been taught to blend into the wall, and yet, there he was. He nearly drew his wand in order to cast a stunning spell before leaving as quick as possible, but he managed to stop himself by crossing his arms

“Your father’s trophies are in here, too?” Theo burst out, his entire face flashing confusion. His careful mask split for a second before reinstating itself ten times fold. He ground this tooth together and glared at the trophy beside him. “I have a trophy in here. I don’t exactly know what it’s for, nor do I care, but I need to get five more within the next two years.” He lifted his gaze up to supposed older boy. “What year are you in anyway?” He wasn’t asking to be rude; he merely wanted the information to clarify. The boy was taller than him, slightly so but it still mattered. His father probably installed that into him, too. The need to know things.

---

Words: 545
Tag: Rilen
Notes: Slightly shorter, but oh well! Enjoy!

[rilen axper castor]

xoxxox

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Nott's gaze was so forced, so hard, Rilen wasn't entirely sure it wasn't just an act. Was the kid really so... intense? But Rilen knew to be patient. After all, it wasn't like he himself didn't have problems. Hell, he hardly had any friends anymore, which wasn't entirely his fault. They all graduated. No, not his fault at all. It's not his fault that they wouldn't owl him, despite the fact that he was at least somewhat intelligent, despite the fact that he was at least somewhat rich. His mother owled him, and that was about it. Was he really so sorry that only his mother sent him letters?

He had to break himself away from this habit. Besides, the kid looked... well, uncomfortable, to say the least. "If you're suggesting I was talking to myself..." he warned, but then trailed off. Rilen raised his eyebrows in confusion, anticipating the rest of Nott's sentence. It never came, and it left Rilen wondering whether he'd imagined the boy saying it. No, he did. Rilen was sure of it. But... Then why didn't he just continue? The Ravenclaw wasn't entirely sure how to respond to such an empty threat, so he just shook his head, trying to convey that, no, he wasn't suggesting anything.

Then, there it was. That flash of anger he'd seen before, barely restrained until now. Nott seemed to twich before crossing his arms tightly. God, he's insecure, Rilen mused. Even he wasn't like that. But this kid had control, that was for sure. At least his emotions weren't flying all over the place. He knew to keep to one mindset, which was totally different than half of the other teenagers that Rilen saw. Happy one second, pissy the next....

"Your father's trophies are in here too?" The question was so sudden, so unexpected, that Rilen wasn't exactly sure what Nott meant at first. The kid clenched his jaw before continuing. "I have a trophy in here," he said matter-of-factly. Rilen could tell he wasn't exactly bragging. In fact, it might have been the opposite. As if he felt ashamed. "I don't know exactly what it's for, nor do I care, but I need to get five more within the next two years."

The statement surprised Rilen. If this boy's father had several trophies... Wouldn't the boy competing with him make them similar? Rilen had been told that children were usually sorted into their parents' houses... So if Nott's father was just as ambitious, wouldn't he be following in his father's footsteps instead of "refusing" to be him? "What year are you in anyway?" Nott asked, cutting Rilen off before he could reply.

He crossed his arms. "Seventh. And no, my father has no trophies here, nor my mother. They didn't even attend here. I'm American." He cleared his throat gently, feeling uncomfortable. He didn't like telling people that. It made him feel as if he was giving them a bit of control over him. He wasn't quite sure how they might use it against him. Would they assume he was a Mudblood because he wasn't from Britain? They'd better not. There was not a drop of Muggle blood in his lineage, that was for certain. It wouldn't surprise him if his father did, in fact, have more than a few trophies at the American school, considering how competent he thought he was, but that was there and not here.

He couldn't help voicing his opinion. It was just... Nott seemed so odd, being so passionate about something that might be working against his cause. "But really. You think competing against your father's ambitions and accomplishments will really stop you from being him? For all you know, he may have said the same about his father when he was your age." He sighed, brows knitted together in a stern glare. He wasn't trying to appear fatherly, but clearly the boy had a lot of learning to do.

Well, Rilen did, too... But more in the social areas. The relationship areas. Not so much the maturity level. It was just... Hard to explain. He immediately felt bad about saying that to a total stranger, and his expression softened. He couldn't hold his glare. "Sorry. I don't have the right to assume things about your family."

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^{TAG - nott, theo (see what i did there? =O )
WORDS - 715 =O
NOTES - i love rping !
TUNES - TRON: Legacy soundtrack !!
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[Theodore Maro Nott]

“American?” He repeated, looking at him with disbelief. “If you’re American, then what’s bloody wrong with you?” Theo asked before cursing at himself once more. If the boy was American, what was he doing here? Here where there was war. Here where there was death every other weak because of some power hungry Dark Lord that considered himself the baddest thing that had ever come before. “Forgive me for stepping out of line, but why would you come here? Sure, Hogwarts is a nice enough school and all, but why go here when you can go to America and actually go to a school that’s not completely biased against each other?” He didn’t exactly understand. He even felt his head twitch to the side, although his arms stayed firmly in place. He had already lost his act once, and he wasn’t going to do it again.

But, why was he here? He wasn’t safe here, didn’t Castor understand that? Regardless of purity of his blood, he still had a chance to get murdered. Thinking of blood, it hadn’t occurred to Theo to ask about that yet. Oh, but he didn’t exactly care. It wasn’t as if that was one of the things that was important to him. He could have been a half-blood and still be just screwed as he was now. Castor had a chance to escape, and here he was, instead. Theo would have given his right arm to be able to go to a school in America instead of here. There would have been less pressure on him to join the ranks of the Dark Lord, and he wouldn’t have to get that blasted mark on his left arm.

He wondered why he didn’t already have the wrinkles of an old man. He had so many stress issues. He really just needed to take a day to himself and just walk away. Maybe buy some sort of guitar or something to go and calm himself down. He remembered chunking his old one across his room whenever he had just gotten another ‘lesson’ from his father the summer of his fourth year out of pure anger. Theo honestly needed to get an outlet for his anger. Most kids had Quidditch to help them, but he refused to let his face get pounded in, and he didn’t, exactly, want to explain the bruises to Ellie or Cristina, or even anyone else who would be interested enough in the bruises he hid behind his long sleeved white collared shirts.

There were so many bruises from all the fights he had to go through for the ‘special training’ his father was putting him through. It certainly didn’t help when Malfoy had decided to join the ranks. His father took this as a sign that Theo was weak and pathetic when being compared to Draco, something of which Theo wanted to disagree with. He didn’t claim to know the reasons Draco joined the ranks for, and he didn’t claim to care. All he knew was that he and Draco were nothing alike. In fact, they were pretty much opposite in almost everything. Mentally, he started laughing. It hadn’t dawned on him before just how opposite they tended to be, and it explained why Theo couldn’t stand him for too long. But, he was doing it again. He was getting off the current topic and getting lost in his mind once more. He blinked to bring himself to the current conversation again, and reminded himself not to go too long without doing so again in case his eyes began to get watery as they were about to if he had kept on with it for another while.

If it were possible for his eyes to harden any more than they had been a couple of seconds ago, they would have done so right now. He did realize, however, that a sneer had plastered itself all over his face. “You don’t know my father, and you don’t know me.” He stated in a deathly soft voice. “If you did, then you would know that my methods of being him are completely different than his.” He had to bite down on the inside of his mouth to keep himself from shaking. He was just…angry, now. He was raving mad.

How DARE he. Swiftly, he turned around to glare at the trophy instead of glaring at the older boy. He had to give himself time to calm down. “I didn’t know my grandfather, but, if he was anything like my father, than I am glad I don’t know him. He was probably one of the first Death Eaters around.” Theo didn’t know what led him to say that, but it just tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it. “Cause, you know, my father is a Death Eater and is pressuring me to be one to.” He whirled back around, his eyes flashing, but he didn’t move forward. “But, I refuse to be like him. I may want to beat him and go against him academically, but not in anything else.”

“Why apologize?” He frowned. “I’m a Slytherin. No one ever apologizes to us. And, you were almost right on the mark there.” He shrugged. “I don’t know you. I’ve said that before, and I’ll say it again. I don’t claim to. But, know this, I will never force my children to go through what I’ve been through. I won’t force my wife to drink because I want to have my Death Eater friends over.”

---

Words: 921
Tag: Rilen
Notes: Ah! I love plays on his name! :D

[rilen axper castor]

xoxxox

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Oddly enough, the boy seemed to take the most offense from the fact that Rilen admitted he was American. No big surprise there. Wasn't this just was he'd been afraid of? But, no, apparently it wasn't what Nott was saying... He was more of asking why. "America?" he said incredulously. "Forgive me for stepping out of line, but why would you come here? Sure, Hogwarts is a nice enough school and all, but why go here when you can go to America and actually go to a school that’s not completely biased against each other?"

Rilen immediately was taken aback by the conflicting ideas. First, Nott was asking Rilen to forgive him, then he was... what, threatening him? He didn't really believe that, did he? It just wasn't possible. Of all the people Rilen had ever told, none of them automatically assumed that America was free from bias. Hell, they were probably one of the most biased in the country. "I really hope you were joking when you said that," he said, his face hardening once again. He set his jaw and inhaled sharply through his nose before contining. God, he hated ignorance. "You've probably never lived a day of your life in magical America, have you? In case you were wondering, all of the world's problems don't end there."

And then he had an idea that never truly had occured to him before: perhaps he was brought to Hogwarts to get away from his father and the Dark magic he'd been dabbling in. Maybe it was for his own protection. "And how do you know I'm not supposed to be here? Maybe there's a reason I'm here." Rilen stopped, his mind racing. His expression broke and his tone quieted. "Maybe there's a reason we're both here."

Also as anticipated, Nott was pissed. He ranted for a bit about how Rilen didn't know them... How his father was a Death Eater and he didn't want to go down that path, but Rilen would never have known if he hadn't come barging in on Nott's personal life. And he knew that. Which was why he apologized. But when he got to that little bit, Nott seemed to hesitate, confused and conflicted. "Why apologize? I'm a Slytherin. No one ever apologizes to us." Rilen almost burst out laughing at that comment. Being in a certain house excluded you from the kindness of others? Rilen had to say something, forcing down his amused smile. "I can act however I want to whomever. Just because you're placed in the stereotypical "evil" house doesn't mean you don't deserve some kindndess."

Nott continued, explaining how Rilen was correct. He nodded, comprehending. Okay, so he wasn't entirely sure if he knew how Nott felt... But it couldn't be too far off. After all, Rilen's father worked with Dark wizards. He wasn't all-out committed, and his reach didn't extend to America, but the concept was still the same. Dark gangs in America were just as bad as this one group of Death Eaters in Britain. If Nott didn't realize that Rilen was no safer in America than here, he was a fool. At least here, his father didn't know where to find him, and it would be too much effort to make his way here anyways.

Rilen nodded when Nott was finished. "See, I understand that. I respect that. And I'm not surprised that you think this way." After all, if you joined the Dark side, you'd be granted at least some protection. And the Ministry here seemed as corrupt as the Democracy across the pond, so there was probably some legal immunity involved as well. And you'd be sided with a powerful wizard. But it crosses the line when you violate the trust of family... Like Rilen's own father had. He uncrossed his arms and follows Nott's gaze to the trophy. "But why don't you just break away from him entirely? I'm American but I live here now. I have my own apartment. You could probably get one, too."

Was he... making suggestions to a stranger? That was odd. Rilen rarely spoke to strangers, and when he needed to it was all objective opinions, facts, or corrections. Maybe... Maybe it's because he needs this, Rilen thought. He could see the pain and the pent-in rage that Nott had, hiding behind his eyes. As it was, Rilen wasn't entirely sure he wasn't about to explode.

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^{TAG - nott
WORDS - 737 =]
NOTES - i woke up a bit early, so escuse me if i accidentally missed anything =O
TUNES - "beautiful lie" -- 30 Seconds to Mars
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[Theodore Maro Nott]

“I don’t joke.” He deadpanned. “Or, rather, I do, but it’s entirely rare, and I doubt you’ll see me do it.” He scratched his chin, staring off. “Are you kidding me? I’m barely allowed to go to Hogwarts as it is.” He shrugged. However, Theo was, honestly, starting to feel a little remorse for his burst. It was probably a result of never letting his emotions out in a different way. He never knew when he was going to burst. Thankfully, he never cracked in front of his so-called friends…“Look, I’m sorry.” He sighed, almost as if it were painful for him to apologize, and it almost was. He was raised never to apologize. “I keep things in for so long that I burst. I didn’t mean to go spilling everything on you, and being, I’ll admit, a prat. Feel free to punch me.” He had said before that he didn’t kid around, and he really didn’t, but he had made an exception and had even managed to keep a completely serious look on his face.

He narrowed his eyes in confusion before humming in a thoughtful tone. “What do you mean?” He asked, curious. “Do you mean here at Hogwarts, here in this room, or both?” He tried to clarify, slowly. Theo would be the first to admit that he wasn’t really in his best state of mind. He was able to realize, however, the expression that jumped on the older teen’s face whenever he said that. It was almost as if he was having an epiphany. He wanted to step forward and ask about it, but it wasn’t any over his business.

Theo had to admit. He wasn’t exactly standing as proudly as he should have, nor was his glare as harsh as it had been when they had first stumbled across each other. And, on top of all of that, he could feel that gnawing feeling at the back of his throat that was telling him to laugh with Castor because he was actually laughing instead of hexing. “Better not let the Gryffindorks hear you say that.” He warned, only half serious. “Once you’re a Slytherin, or once you associate yourself with a Slytherin, you’re lower than the dirt we walk on outside.” He had to hold back on an evil giggle there. “After all, we’re a bunch of Death Eaters that have nothing better to do than follow after someone else.” He shook his head with a smirk. “It’s amazing how well I can blend into the wall whenever people are talking about my house.”

He couldn’t help but stare at Castor as if he was some idiot who had tried to make out with the giant squid. Break away from his father? The thought had occurred to Theo so many times, and was always just a bittersweet idea. Yes, he wouldn’t have to deal with his father anymore. He wouldn’t have to see his mother drink herself to near death day after day, and he would be allowed to be himself. He would be allowed to go out and date whoever he wanted whenever he wanted, although he had to admit he probably wouldn’t since he was so shy when it came to his crushes. And, just when he decided he was going to do it, a little giggle would stop him doing everything. How could he consider leaving Christina behind in that hell hole with no one to fend for her?

That’s why he wasn’t allowed to leave like he wished he could. That’s why he had to return to the Grange every chance he got. He always felt as if he needed to ask, if not occasionally beg, Professor Snape so that he might get a pass home just to see if she was fine. But, he knew that wouldn’t do anything. His father would simply be angry at him for missing school, and he would take it out on both of them. He wrote letters to her every week, and eagerly looked forward to the awkward little letters she would write back thanking him for another book, telling him how Ellie had helped her read it, even if she had tried her hardest to read it on her own, and that she promised she was going to be able to read the next book by herself as long as he sent him one. She would also ask for some sweets and maybe some vegtables so that Ellie could make her favorite soup now that it was starting to get cold.

“Believe me,” he started almost painfully, his nails digging into his jacket. “I want to be able to leave. I want to be able to tell him what I really think about him. I don’t care if I’m disowned. I’d be glad if I was, but I can’t do anything. My hands are tied behind my back.” Theo glared at the wall, the feeling of punching something climbing up in his stomach. “I can’t just leave Christina there.”

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Words: 836
Tag: Rilen(:
Notes: Bah. Poor little Theo always so fragile.

[rilen axper castor]

xoxxox

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So, he hadn't been joking. Maybe he was just another pitiful, ignorant child. How disappointing. Even after all this time Rilen still had yet to find a mature student among the bunch. Sure they may think that they're ahead of the game, what with their petty problems and dysfunctional families. (Who didn't have family issues these days? Honestly...) But they refused to deal with it. They withheld not just their anger, but all other emotions, tried to look cool and calm and collected, when they really were just scared little children on the inside.

Rilen? He knew he was different. He had to be. He let emotions show, that was one thing. But he was mature enough to keep his own problems to himself and not try to force them on anyone else. Maybe that was the problem. Students these days were surrounded by their friends, and Rilen? Well, he was just on his own most of the time. He preferred it, naturally, but he couldn't help but wonder what was he doing wrong. Maybe his father was right... Maybe he wasn't good enough...

He wasn't exactly surprised at Nott's confession, though it was a little strange. He didn't joke at all? He didn't seem the type... Then again, as Nott went on, it sort of explained it. "I'm sorry," he said finally, and Rilen accepted the apology without a word. Though, it was a little strange, considering that Nott had just stated how Slytherins were undeserving of apologies. Didn't that imply that Slytherins also weren't prone to apologizing? Rilen wasn't entirely sure, but he wasn't going to ask. Nott continued, confessing of his inability to accurately display his emotions. The irony almost made Rilen laugh aloud, but he kept it in, not wanting to offend the boy.

But then the Slytherin continued. "Feel free to punch me," he said, with equal seriousness as before. Rilen's eyebrows lifted in shock. Did he really think that Rilen, a slim, withdrawn Ravenclaw, would strike a random boy he'd never met before? "That's all right," he said with a nervous chuckle. "I'll pass." Was it just that Nott was used to being physically harmed? Rilen could sympathize a bit. Sestina just loved hitting other people. He wondered how she had so many friends, being such a little bitch that she was. Maybe it was her boobs? They weren't really that... Nevermind.

Nott asked about his comment of "being here", but Rilen honestly didn't want to go into it, because then it would mean he would have to explain himself and his background. Though Nott might be perfectly comfortable telling his secrets to a stranger, Rilen most certainly was not. So Rilen simply remained silent, watching Nott with a cool (though hopefully not too cold) gaze.

Unfortunately, he couldn't keep a steady face when Nott began speaking again. As Nott continued speaking, Rilen became more and more uneasy. "Better not let the Gryffindors hear you say that," Nott said in a joking tone, but Rilen knew he meant what he said. "Once you’re a Slytherin, or once you associate yourself with a Slytherin, you’re lower than the dirt we walk on outside." At this, Rilen had to frown. Did Nott really think so lowly of himself, of his house? Rilen could comprehend what Nott was saying, sure. That Slytherins could be poisonous, spreading their vile mannerisms to whoever got too close. But Nott believed himself to be lower than dirt?

The next comment, however, made Rilen extremely confused. "It’s amazing how well I can blend into the wall whenever people are talking about my house." He didn't know at all what Nott was talking about, but it took him a moment to start himself to ask about it. "Excuse me, but I don't know at all what you mean." His face crumpled as he thought for a moment. "Are you saying you feel... different? From the other Slytherins? Like you don't connect to their types or something?" If that was true, then Rilen totally understood.

After all, not all Ravenclaws were socially incompetent. Most of their competitive natures had limits, didn't create destructive mindsets. They studied for a purpose, because they had ambitions and goals and knew just how to reach them. Rilen? No... He was different. Sure, he was ahead of the majority of his class. He was more mature than the children he saw around him. But when it came to girlfriends, friends, or even house-mates, he was a dunce. As for his desire to be the best, it was only because he knew that he was so far beneath them all, as was evident by his lack of recognition by the school. And Rilen had no clue what he'd do after school. He wasn't even familiar with the Ministry of Magic, so he wasn't sure he'd get a job as a secretary there.

Maybe Nott and he weren't so dissimilar as he'd thought.

When Rilen brought up the idea of moving out, Nott gave him a look like, "What are you, stupid?" Rilen almost wondered if he'd misspoken. But then, Nott spoke. "Believe me, I want to be able to leave," he said bitterly. Rilen wondered if he was clenching his jaw. The anger was sprouting up again, clearly evident in the boy's body language. But there was another feeling, one that seemed so deep in the boy's foundations that it was rooted into him. And it looked like this feeling was just surfacing. It made Rilen extremely uncomfortable, especially coupled with the following explanation.

"I want to be able to tell him what I really think about him." Rilen nodded slowly, but then what Nott said nearly made his jaw drop. "I don't care if I'm disowned. I'd be glad if I was, but I can't do anything." Rilen was so stunned that he literally couldn't speak. No, he'd never gotten on well with his dad. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the right way to put it. His father created everything bad inside of Rilen, but they were still a family. Plus, there was his mother. If Rilen was disowned, his dad would probably restrict all contact between Rilen and his mom. Rilen was terribly close to his mother, and without her he probably wouldn't be as confident as he was now, and that was saying something. Rilen lived for his mother.

It seemed like Nott had a family member to live for too. "I can't just leave Christina there." Who was she? A sister? His mom? Seemed more like a sister... And probably a young one at that. Rilen fully understood... And at the same time, perhaps he was in a worse situation. At least Nott's beloved wasn't an ocean away. At least he didn't have to deal with tearing her away from her husband, who she knowingly (and willingly) wedded. He didn't have to deal with not knowing when the next letter would come, not knowing if his father would someday turn on his mom, and trips across the ocean to visit were incredibly long and tedious.

Rilen found that his teeth were ground against each other, and he eased up unhappily. His jaw hurt. He wasn't sure how long he'd been like that. Maybe Nott didn't notice. "Take her with you," he said quietly, unable to look Nott in the eye. "If she's young, she won't be a problem, and if she's older then she'll know what to do. And if you're like most other purebloods, like myself, money is probably no object. Allowing her to stay there will only make things worse... Especially if nothing's done."

Why was he so angry? Because what he said applied to him? Because talking to this boy was just another reminder of the failure that was Rilen Axper Castor? It was like his father was right there, like he was the Headmaster, looking down at him, taunting him, cradling Sestina like she was a goddess reincarnated, dangling his mother over a pit of serpents... Rilen sighed, looking entirely away from Nott and over the rows and rows of trophies. None were his. Rilen had nothing to his name, did he? He was practically useless... He clenched his jaw again and this time didn't let it go.

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^{TAG - nottttttttt
WORDS - 1376 o.0
NOTES - a) sorry it took so long, b) this is the second, so i hope it's decent =P, and c) OMG IT'S FRIGGIN LONG =O
TUNES - "search and destroy" -- 30 Seconds to Mars
CREDIT - template by MUNZTAR * of caution 2.0}

[Theodore Maro Nott]

Theo let out a soft chuckle before running his hand through his hair. “I told you I didn’t tend to joke around.” He stated, letting his arm drop to the side. “I’m quite horrible at it, if you weren’t able to tell.” He added, lamely. He had been, a bit desperately to his mind, trying to make a joke to lighten the mood as he had often see his fellow teenagers do, but, try as hard as he might, no one ever realized it was a joke. That was probably a sign telling him that he needed to practice his smile more often, especially around people he didn’t usually associate with. He always wondered why smiling was so hard for him to do, in these circumstances. He never had trouble cracking a smile with Pansy, although they were usually forced. And, he really didn’t have any troubles smiling with Lilly around.

Although, he realized, that he didn’t tend to laugh. He would smirk, and, once in a blue moon, he would chuckle but he never really laughed out loud. Unless, of course, he was with Christina. He loved how he could truly be himself around her. He didn’t have to worry about her judging him for who he was. Maybe it was because she was young, or it could have been because their father hadn’t really managed to turn her into an unsociable child yet. Theo had yet to figure it out, and he put it on his list of things to do once he returned to the Grange. Blinking twice, he realized he didn’t exactly…care anymore. When he forced his eyes to return to the older Ravenclaw, he found he couldn’t turn his face into an uncaring mask or even bother to put a sneer or smirk on his face. Instead, he merely leaned against the wall and slid down until he was sitting against it.

“Because my father would take that wonderfully.” Theo deadpanned before turning his head thoughtfully. He had thought about just taking her and leaving on several occasions. And, he would do so if he didn’t care to finish his next year at Hogwarts. Unfortunately for both him and Christina, he did care and he would have to finish, anyway, if he wanted to be able to do something with his life besides live off of his father’s money. “I’ve thought about it several times. I’ve even thought about sending her to live in different places for a matter of time, but none of them work.” He tapped his fingers against his leg. “It’s a wonder she’s turned out like she has. She’s my exact opposite.”

He shook his head to clear his thoughts of Christina-he couldn’t afford to think about her right now. Instead, he focused his gaze at Rilen and allowed his eyes to harden. [colorsilver]“Now, what about you? This entire time we’ve been talking about me.”[/color] Which, by the way, Theo had to put an end to before he revealed something else. He had already revealed enough to allow himself to get blackmailed by the older student, although he didn’t really think Castor would be able to do it. He probably had a couple of morals in him. “Everyone has issues.” He continued, observing Rilen carefully and allowing his eyes to follow where the older boy’s eyes were going before speaking again. “I’m not saying you have to tell me anything, because you don’t. Just like I didn’t have to tell you anything and you didn’t have to stand there and listen to me. But, it helps.”[/size][/color]

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Words: 595
Notes: It's so short! Sorry. D:
Tag: Rilen! (: