WE ALL FALL DOWN [THEO]

[cityisatwar]

search for the answers i knew all along
i lost m y s e l f, we all fall down

The seventh year was all wrapped up in layers of coats and long sleeves, a scarf, and a pair of mittens. She loved the winter; things just seemed to settle down even though all the people seemed to be in more of a hustle and bustle than ever. Nature was peaceful; the snow just blocked all the noise out. The sun tried its best to shine through the clouds with no avail. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, the perfect chance for her to take a break, to get out, just relax, and just take a breather. This was a chance for her to catch up with the few friends she had kept. There was one person though, one she has known since childhood, and she trusted him without a doubt. The only difference about her trusting him and how she trusted her father, Theo hadn’t lied about who he was.

The snow crunched beneath her feet, leaving imprints behind as she trudged her way through the snow towards The Three Broom sticks. A mug of warm butterbeer and lunch with Theo, just what she needed. When she needed stability in her life, she knew she could always talk to Theo. He was there for her and she would be there for him, he was the only thing stable in her life, in the sense that she has known him since childhood. He was like a brother to her and she loved it. She loved being around people who were different than the rest, they didn’t conform to the norm.

Lilly walked into the Three Broomsticks, she searched around the room for Theo. It wouldn’t be hard to spot him, especially with his bright blue eyes. Really, it was impossibly beautiful. She didn’t know how she could look at them and not completely swoon over them. Not seeing him anywhere she a found a booth, once she had slid in, she shrugged out of her heavy outer coat and unbuttoned the top of her mittens to free her fingers.

Her cheeks and nose were rosy from being outside, her fingers felt numb but otherwise moveable. Quickly she rubbed them together to create friction and warmth. When that didn’t work, she brought them close to her mouth and breathed on them. The aroma of butterbeer wafted towards her, she closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. She loved the smell of butterbeer.

It was once of those awkward moments, sitting by yourself looking like a complete idiot waiting for a friend. Silently she slid out of the booth, walking towards the bar. “One butterbeer please.”

[/b] She smiled politely at the person working the bar. She’s never been on the dating path, you would think that a girl like Lilly would have had a ton of boyfriends by now. Truth of the matter, she hasn’t even had one boyfriend during her whole time here and she was leaving at the end of the year.

This past month had been hectic, stressful, and more than just emotional. One thing that bothered her about it all was that she was lied to. Everything she believed in was one big, fat, giant hoax. She was scared and alone, not knowing where to go because everything she had believed in just dropped down around her. What was love? A whole bunch of lies, a fake, a scam. Something that lied to you, used you, and more importantly, something that killed you oh so slowly. Everybody lied to her about her dad. Wouldn’t you like to know your dad was a death eater?

Lilly sat in the booth with her hand wrapped around a warm mug of butterbeer thinking it all through. The most important thing she wanted to know was, why her?

"speaking speaking speaking"
thinking thinking thinking
"Someone else speaking" [/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

words;; 6 2 4
tag;; T H E O!?
notes;; sorry for all the rambling
lyrics;; "Without You" by Breaking Benjamin
credit;; i.forgive.you @ CAUTION 2.0[/center]

[Theodore Maro Nott]

Christina was sick. Writing frantic letters to Ellie, Theo had spent the better part of his night and morning with a quill in his hand. He wasn’t daft. He knew he was probably telling her things she already knew. So far, he had told her about what to feed Christina, to keep her in bed, to read her some books, to allow her to rest, to let her read some of her own books, to provide her with some toys, to bathe her in cold water to reduce her fever, and make sure she knew she was always on his mind. He hadn’t had a wink of sleep, and he was sure he had bags under his eyes. He had completely forgotten today was a trip to Hosmeade, and that he had made plans. He wasn’t exactly sure how Lilly would react to him being late, let alone not showing up. He knew that that was beneath him, too, so, regretfully, he let the owl loose and made his way towards the dungeons going as quick as possible so that he could take a shower and change before meeting his oldest friend.

They had so many things to catch up on. Sure, they were in the same house, but they still didn’t see each other as often as the sixth year Slytherin would have liked. He would have preferred to be in her year considering they were less bloody annoying than the Slytherins in his year, and he wasn’t quite sure what he would do without her company the following year. Theo knew exactly what he was going to talk to her about, although he had originally planned on telling Pansy first. Somehow, the idea of telling his best friend, despite how afraid he was of what she thought, before his close friend was more comforting. In all honesty, he had planned on telling Parkinson first because he was planning on seeing her reaction and modifying his words so that he could tell Lilly. The Slytherin boy quickly took a shower and got dressed in his warmest, yet still presentable, black slacks and his wrinkle-free, long-sleeved, white button down shirt. He quickly grabbed a green tie and tied it into a knot before grabbing some black dragon hide boots which went over his black socks. He grabbed his warmest cloak, his wand, and a hat before making his way out the door, and, a couple of minutes later, out the door and down the path for Hogsmeade. Theo would be lying if he said he hadn’t basically sprinted down the path in order to not be so late. Despite having just showered, he wasn’t that cold. He could feel the front nipping at his cheeks before leaving as he made his way towards Three Broomsticks.

He threw the door open, as calmly as he could, and walked into the room, his blue eyes searching for his friend. He saw her sitting at a booth, alone, with a butterbeer in hand. Theo quickly decided he would have one, too. The cold hadn’t caught up to him until the moment he had entered the bar. He quickly made his way over to the bar, hopefully looking uninterested in everything. “A butterbeer, quickly, if you would.” After receiving his drink, he headed straight towards her. He slid onto the opposite side before throwing a smirk her way. She looked cold—colder than he was, and he had just come in from the cold. He hoped that was a good sign. No, he knew that was a good sign. It meant that she couldn’t have been there for too long. He looked down at his fingers, and almost winced. Maybe she wasn’t colder than he was. His fingers had gone completely white since he hadn’t thought to bring gloves, showing how smart he was. He had been too preoccupied planning the most important conversation he was going to have that week out in his head, even though he knew it probably wasn’t going to go how he wanted.

He had planned on asking her how she was, how things have been going, and letting things go all around in her favor before dropping the bomb. That way, she would have been happy and stress free knowing that she had gotten all of her problems out. Theo could feel the feeling begin to return to his fingers. He also knew that this was due to the fact that all the feeling was leaving his stomach. He had never believed the muggles when they claimed to have butterflies in their stomach. But, he was beginning to have this thoughts differ on the matter. No, that was a lie. He didn’t have butterflies in his stomach. It was worse than that, much worse. The butterflies were too weak for his stomach. He had raging dragons in his stomach, making him queasy and pale. “Er, Lilly. There’s no easy way for me to put this…” He started, leaning against the booth with a look of utter sickness. “Uh, I’m…gay.” His voice had managed to drop down to a whisper on the last word, and his eyes fluttered shut. None of this was going according to plan, but it was too late for that. The words had tumbled out of his mouth, and there was nothing he could do to take them back.

---

Words: 894
Tag: Lilly~
Notes: Not how I was planning on making it, but oh well. Oh! I love torturing Theo! (:

[cityisatwar]

search for the answers i knew all along
i lost m y s e l f, we all fall down

A smile beamed on her face as Theo slid into the booth on the opposite side of her. Theo looked cold, really cold. Looking at his hands she frowned in concern. She didn’t say anything of it because she wasn’t his mother and Lilly was sure he didn’t like it when people told him what to do. Lilly studied her friend intently, something to be on his mind. She tilted her head slightly, a truly sick looked passed over his face. His skin turned pale and it didn’t appear to be from the cold as he leaned against the booth.

She hated seeing the very obvious discomfort on his face and it was apparent in his voice. “Er, Lilly. There’s no easy way for me to put this…” This sounded like more bad news. She didn’t need anymore of it right now. Her muscles tensed waiting for the blow. “Uh, I’m…gay.” By then his voice was at a whisper. Lilly’s eyes widened in surprise. She wasn’t expecting that, her body relaxed slowly. She gave him a soft smile to ease his discomfort. It didn’t make a difference to her, he was still Theo. At least he told her instead of lying about it. “I’m guessing this isn’t something your parents know about.” It wasn’t a question. Not to be disrespectful to his dad or anything, but Theo’s dad was…well his dad had very high expectations of him.

“Does anyone else know besides me?” A slightly sheepish smile appeared on her face. Seeing how uncomfortable he looked about telling her, only made her more terrified of asking him if he knew. Theo’s dad was a death eater, he was also a friend of her dad’s. She was way too young back then to piece the puzzle together. It made her more than sad she couldn’t, didn’t even know what her dad was.

Lilly sighed heavily, time to drop the bomb. “I have a question to ask you. It’s really important that I know the truth.” She said sincerely. She didn’t doubt for a second that Theo would lie to her about it, but she had to make the point clear. She closed her eyes for a second and breathed deeply. “This isn’t easy, especially because you’re my best friend, I have no reason to believe that you’re lying, but lately I don’t know the truth anymore.” She bit her lip to stop it from shaking. She wasn’t going to cry, she was way past that now. Still for some reason her brain keeps telling her to cry, trying to force her eyes to sting with tears, she refused to give in. “D-Did you my father was a death eater?” She hated how shaky her voice sounded. Theo could be the one set this whole thing straight. If he told her, Lilly could just get over it, accept the truth more easily. She would be able to forgive her mother, herself, and more importantly, her father.

Life had been an emotional roller coaster the past month. She was just glad she was catching up with her best friend. The was someone she couldn’t ever get mad at, even if she felt like she was, she couldn’t be mad at him. Unlike with Parkinson and Malfoy, they just irked her. She was still a bit peeved he never showed up at quid ditch practice the other day.

"speaking speaking speaking"
thinking thinking thinking
"Someone else speaking"

words;; 5 6 4
tag;; T H E O!?
notes;; this could get interesting...
lyrics;; "Without You" by Breaking Benjamin
credit;; i.forgive.you @ CAUTION 2.0

[Theodore Maro Nott]

That was it then, he realized. She was going to stand up, spat or sneer at him, make some rude comment-probably about his horrid excuse for a mother-, and leave. As soon as she walked out the door, no, as soon as she stood up, his sentence was sealed. No one would have anything to do with him. He would be hated by his house, and he’d forever be doomed to being alone. They would tell his mother. Dear Merlin, they would tell his father! He could kiss his wish of Christina goodbye. He could kiss his wish of changing the Nott family goodbye. But, that seemed to be the least of his problems. Blaise, his best male mate, would be out of his life forever. Lilly…Lilly would be gone.

Theodore Maro Nott was not afraid of a lot of things. He didn’t need a lot of people to be his friend. He just…didn’t. But, he already had so few friends. He didn’t know if he could bare to lose the little that he did have. He loved Lilly like an elder sister; he loved Blaise, albeit not like that, he liked Draco well enough, and he cared for Pansy. He would be lying if he didn’t say he knew how much his best friend disliked both Malfoy and Parkinson. Merlin’s beard, Draco and Pansy. The next step would be telling them. That is, if Lilly didn’t tell them first, that would be the next step. Slowly, Theo opened his eyes to look at the chaos he was sure he had caused. She wasn’t sneering at him. She was glaring at him, or even anything he had been expecting. When he looked at how calm she looked, his eyes widened in shock, and he let out a breath he hadn’t noticed he had been holding in.

Was she kidding around? Of course his parents didn’t know. They would bloody massacre him. “Oh, they do.” He said, every word being more sarcastic than the last. “Father’s trying to get…Flint to consent to marriage.” He batted his eyelashes and tried to look as if he were in love, he nearly laughed at the thought, as possible. “He knows just how much I adore him.” Theo snorted, ruining everything. “I kid, and…er, yeah. You’re the only one that knows." He tried to look as sheepish as he felt, or even as sheepish as she had been previously. Merlin, he probably looked worse.

There it was. The blow he had been expecting. His fingers gripped the table, and his face became utterly blank. He was expecting the worse. Anything would be an insult…unless, of course, it was that. Death Eaters were a sore subject for him. But, that’s not what made his eye bulge out of his head. Besides the fact that there were some ruddy pests lying to his best friend, he’d murder them when the time came, but he hadn’t realized she knew about his own father, although he had to admit that one wasn’t really a secret. “Who’s lying?” He scoffed, pretending to be offended. But, when he looked at her, he stopped pretending and leaned in. “Listen, Lilly. You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t lie to you. That’s why I’m here, alright?” He smiled at her before leaning back and taking everything into consideration. Everything always had to go wrong in their families. “Did I know your father was in the ruddy DE, no.” He answered, truthfully. “I had my suspicions, especially since he’s a friend of MY father, but I always hoped your dad was trying to turn mine into someone good.” He was angry, beyond so, at their parents, now. Didn’t they know what they were putting their kids through?

---

Words: 622Tag: Lilly!
Notes: Bwahaha. :D I love this thread already!

[cityisatwar]

search for the answers i knew all along
i lost m y s e l f, we all fall down

“Father’s trying to get…Flint to consent to marriage.” Lilly giggled at the way Theo batted his eyelashes pretending to be so in love. “He knows just how much I adore him.” Lilly laughed. She loved Theo, he had this amazing personality that was just addicting, really it was impossible to resist it and she wouldn’t lie about it. She was sort of honored to be the first one to know, but she could understand how difficult it is to keep something like that a secret. She so much wanted to hug him, make him feel okay again. Theo deserved much better, it was too bad his father couldn’t understand that side of Theo. Lilly doubted his father would even try to comprehend that aspect of his son.


“It’s out of my control now, what’s done is done. I just wish it wasn’t my mother of all people that had lied to me about this whole thing.” Lilly said in a quiet, sullen voice. It was only the fact that her best friend was here, that the pain she had felt so sharply before was nothing but a numb feeling inside of her now. “…That’s why I’m here, alright?” She smiled weakly. Whatever it was, Theo always was there to comfort her when no one else would. She was more than grateful towards him, she loved him in a way that was far too much for someone else to fully understand.

Lilly nodded as he went on. The sincere truth was apparent in his voice. She’d owl her mother about it once they got back to the castle. “He-he acted so different…” She whispered, she wasn’t sure if it was mostly to herself or if Theo could understand what she meant. She didn’t think it was possible for her father to be in the DE. He never showed signs of being capable of torturing innocent people or even killing others. If her father really was such a freak about having only purebloods, wouldn’t he have shown signs of it? Lilly used to always ask to do muggle things like visit a museum or go to an amusement park, never did her father scold her about it, of course they never went, but he sure did not throw a big theatrical fit.

“Whatever he’s done for the Dark Lord, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know that side of him.” Once she talked to her mother about her father, she’d never talk about it again, she wouldn’t think about it or be bitter anymore. Her heart hurt too much, too much pain was held inside because she never knew the truth about her father. It didn’t matter if he was trying to protect her, all she needed to know was where his loyalties were, which cause he was fighting for.

Without her knowing it, a single tear fell and trailed down her cheek. Once she felt the moisture on her hand, she quickly wiped it away and looked away from Theo. She hoped he didn’t notice, no need for him to see her like this. Besides, she wanted the day to talk to Theo and how his life was going other than what he had just told her. They needed to catch up.

"speaking speaking speaking"
thinking thinking thinking
"Someone else speaking"

words;; 100+
tag;; T H E O!?
notes;; this could get interesting...
lyrics;; "Without You" by Breaking Benjamin
credit;; i.forgive.you @ CAUTION 2.0

[Theodore Maro Nott]

Welcome to my silly life

[/color][/font]
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
----------------[/center]
He snickered and shook his head. “So you know, Flint’s not my type.” He winked and leaned against his arm, which he had propped on the table. It was such a ruddy relief to be able to let himself be…himself. He was tired of having that cold mask that restricted what he felt like. It felt nice to finally let loose and be himself. He was so thankful for Lilly, and he couldn’t stop the easy grin from staying off of his face. “I prefer my men to not be so ugly in the face.” He snorted before looking at her. He was trying to make jokes, even if they were at his expense, so that he could cheer her up. Theo hated to see her sad. He hated it more than seeing himself sad, although not as much as seeing Christina sad. He may love Lilly like an older sister, but there was nothing either of them could do to even taint the bond he and Christy had.

He frowned, reaching forward to grab her hands in his. They were a lot warmer than his. He smiled in an apologetic sort of way. Next time, he reminded himself, he would wear gloves. “Our mother’s well…they aren’t exactly the type everyone else has, eh?” He squeezed her hands in his before continuing. “They’re going to lie for their husbands, despite us. Look on the bright side, darling. At least she isn’t drunk off her rocker all the bloody time.” He rolled his eyes, thinking about his own mother and wondering what she was doing for a brief second. “The important thing is you know what he’s doing is wrong. And, that you don’t follow in his footsteps.” He added, a bit slowly at first.

Although he had an idea of what side Lilly was on, he wasn’t exactly sure, but he figured he might as well put his beliefs down on the table. He didn’t exactly understand what she meant about her father acting differently. His father had always acted the same towards him. The elder Theodore had tried to teach the younger ones that all muggles were useless and deserved to die so that the better race, the wizard race, could rise up and take their rightful place in the world, but he had failed somehow along the lines and only succeeded in turning Theo against his father and against the Dark Lord. “They always do.” He muttered, a bit darkly. “Once they follow him, they’re never the same. The worst thing about it all is that they try to force us into do their bidding, bah.” He let go of one of her hands so that he could massage his temples before looking back at her with a sympathetic smile.

He wanted her to stop suffering. He couldn’t stand it. The truth was that Theo was very much aware of what the Death Eater’s all did. Although he hadn’t really wanted to go, his father had once forced him to attend a meeting so that he would be able to see what he was supposed to become. If anything, it only made him believe even more that they needed to go down. He’d never say so out loud, and he’d never tell Lilly what happened. “Then put it out of your mind and have a talk with me.” He grinned, sweetly. “Now, enough about the bloody decease munchers. What’s been going on with you-academically wise. You have N.E.W.T.S this year, right?” He raised an eyebrow, telling her that he was aware that she did in fact have those this year, but that that wasn’t the point. The point was that Theodore Maro Nott had to do everything in his power to make his friend-one of his best friends-as happy as he was used to having her be.

------------------
Tagged;;

[/font][/color] Lilly!
Words;;[/font][/color] 639
Notes;;[/font][/color] Cheer up mode or what? (:[/center]